“Every single person on the planet has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them. The truth might surprise you!” – Pravinee Hurbungs
Disclaimer: I know many of you won’t react to this post but many would be able to relate to it. I dare you that this is a sincere view.
I know as I continue to write blogs on mental health-related and also touching on lives, many will tell that an immature girl trying to act mature. A girl who took up a job that’s different then what she is trained for, trying to poke back her nose and so on. I know many of my readers started to think what a boast. This too can be seen as the little bitter truth of judgement.
Little Bitter Truth About Judgement – let’s get it straight
When I do things, I am talked about. When I don’t do, I am still talked about. I don’t go out; I am labelled demanded and I go out I am told I am a dosser. Isn’t it paradoxically judgemental views?
You see, everyone takes their own assumption and start to judge the time you get out of the bed. Evaluative eyes are everywhere but not many tries to see the real reasons. If I am blunt to you. It may not be that I am rude or something. It might be the reflection of your behaviours towards me and also that there is nothing to judge the behaviour but to observe the pattern.
“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge” – C.G Jung
We see something that a person does and before anything else, we start to get angry, disappointed at the person, and think worse. For example, my cousin left his plate in the sink and went. I start to judge his discipline and his etiquettes. We judge without understanding. We don’t discuss or communicate which leads to building the bridge between the human.
I do put my judgement in many situations and time and so do you but we all know that judgements are not helpful neither helping anyone. I started to rummage for tips to reduce because I knew somewhere sometimes, I was judging people. Here are a few tips:
Focus on Your Own Life
What others are wearing, who is dating whom, who is earning how much. It does not matter. Focus on your life. Focus on what matters to you rather than passing judgement on other’s life. Have a goal of your own rather fussing over the goals of others.
Look for Positivity
There is always something good in someone or something. Judgements are often negative and you can stop making the statement if you can.
Stereotyping has negativity in itself. A girl can marry at 18 or 30 or have relationship earlier than her older sister but we place our judgement that the girl is characterless. A person can marry right after her college and that’s totally okay until we start to judge the decision. It is so stereotypical that a person should be marrying after getting job or spouse should have a job and so on. It is best to avoid stereotyping at all cost for it is not good.
Remember How it Feels
Remember that last time when you were judged on your impatience by one of your classmates. You had your own reasons to be impatience but the other person made that statement and deep down you felt so judged for being yourself. When you judge someone, remember the time when you were judged.
Understand to Avoid Judgement
The most important thing one can do is to understand. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to imagine their circumstances that lead the person to act or look. If possible talk to them.
Accept to Avoid Judgement
Accept the person for who they are. The most dreadful thing that one experiences are the feeling of been accepted for who the person is.
The worst feeling that one can ever have is the fear of judgement. Many times, when you leave a room, you have to know that there will be one person who will always talk about you. The technique of ACCEPTANCE comes into the picture. Focus on your life. No matter what you do, where you go accept that you will be judged and let it go. Neither the judgement of others is going to pull you down or uplift you when you are focused on your life and your goals. These all were the little bitter truth of judgement.
Let’s take a challenge to stop judging for a day and see how our lives would change. Take a challenge and let us know.
I am Jamuna Mukhia. My education level doesn’t define me, my experience of life does. I studied clinical counseling but realized life was counseling me instead. I am into blogging because of my gut feeling telling me to write and share the world the wired thoughts in my head. I suppose thoughts are in the head that I don’t know either because I am everywhere in a sec.